Spring Weather

Well not really but yesterday was one of the best days NYC has seen in a couple of weeks.

I hit the streets from 2-5pm in Soho, then met a friend for coffee. I was wiped out after chasing all day, so I hit my bed early and went to spin class in the morning.

My stats for the day:

Sets: 9

Quick blowouts: 3

Boyfriend objection: 4

conversations: 2

Numbers: 0

Normally I would says that these stats are piss poor, but I was actually happy at the number of approaches. While I had the whole day to run game, I gave myself that three hour window from 2-5pm for game. I took a couple of tea breaks, one at La Colombe on Lafayette, which is one of my favorite spots. There are plenty of tourists and NYU girls to look at, and also a Soul Cycle right across the street, so traffic is respectable.

This winter has been rough weather wise. We have had some brutal cold which has made daygaming hard, but I try to stay positive. I have been trying to find wings, but it has been difficult, I rarely see guys out there, even Union Square is dead. I am thinking about starting some kind of meetup in the spring, this city needs a community back.

I bought a ticket to go to Tokyo, because it is a great city, and also the Japanese girls are my favorite. I know I need to start traveling more, but my business has kept me local. Time to get out there and make it happen. I leave in one week.

Today is Saturday and I plan on hitting it this afternoon. Upper East Side has been drawing me back lately, since 86th street has become a major shopping corridor with plenty of sets to open.

Social Conditioning

A recent daygame session got me thinking about the concept of “warming up” to do sets. This is the theory that if you want to start a productive outing on the streets talking to young females, then you need to warm up, before you actually start doing meaningful approaches. This can be done in a couple of ways:

  1. Walk around and just do a couple of throw away approaches. I often do this my repeating in my head “the first one is the worst one” over and over, until I get up the nerve. This can take a few minutes or even hours.
  2. Hit and run compliments. You walk up to a girl with no intention of having a conversation. “You look really nice today. Have a nice day.” Then walk away. This can the faster route.

Unfortunately, if you are an experienced daygamer, you know that the more common routine is to walk around all day and do nothing. I have spent countless days traversing the streets without talking to anyone. All the common excuses ramble around in my pumped-up brain. In no order of importance:

  1. She looks bitchy
  2. Waking too fast
  3. I should buy new jeans
  4. I need her to make eye contact
  5. I need my wing
  6. too cold, hot, rainy, sunny
  7. Maybe the next block is better
  8. Coffee first
  9. Start over tomorrow
  10. You tube videos will get me charged up

There are more, but you get my drift.

A funny thing happened to my yesterday. Before I even started my session, I was already warmed up. Let me explain.

Sam, a daygame coach in London turned my onto the concept of habitual social interaction during your day, or having conversations with all the people you encounter, and starts with those who serve you. The coffee shop is a good example.

I love coffee shops. They are on every block and they are a great way to get out of my apartment and be around people. For most of my adult life I never greeted the people who served me coffee. I ordered, payed, thanked, then left. Nobody ever knew my name, story, where I was from, nor did I know the same about them. That’s because there was never any conversation.

So I started with a simple exercise. Before I place my order, I smile and ask the person behind the counter, “how is your day going so far?” This is important for a couple of reasons. One, you are probably the only person today who asked that question. Most people don’t care about the day of the guy or girl serving them coffee. They just want their coffee. So it makes that person feel good, which in reciprocates and does the same for you. Second, it gives you social proof in whatever venue you are in. If the people sitting down hear this interaction, you are perceived as a high status male with social skills. So if there is a girl sitting down that you would like to talk to, you already have a higher perceived value, and it will be easier to start a conversation. Third, you start doing this wherever you go, not just in coffee shops. The dry cleaner, bank, supermarket, elevator are all good examples. Greeting people or asking about their day becomes a habit without even thinking about. Your day become social and interactive.

Getting back to daygame.

My session yesterday started the moment I walked out the door and went to my local coffee shop, Variety Coffee on 7th ave. I asked the barista how she was doing, ordered my normal black coffee, then had a chat with another girl working about something that happened in there yesterday. After I sat down, two cute tourist girls who heard the whole thing were standing there, so I spoke to them about buying a whole new wardrobe when you come on a cold weather trip (they were from Australia).

The point of the story is that this social scene in the coffee shop was actually my daygame warmup. By the time I started my session that afternoon, I had already spoken to a few people, so I was ready to start with girls. No warm up sets, no hit and runs, no walking around for hours. As soon as I walked out the door, I was ready.

My stats for the day were impressive. I did at least 10 sets, had 5 or 6 normal conversations, and I even had the salesman in the Nike Store laughing out loud at a joke I made about some sneakers.

From now on I plan on starting every day in a social way, whether I plan on daygamig or not. At least this way I will always be ready.

Game Starts

My name is Joe and I live in New York City. Actually I live in NJ sometimes and NYC the rest, but that I will explain later. I am starting this blog to chronicle my daygame journey, because let’s face it, daygame is hard as hell. I am not just talking hard like getting up early to go to the gym hard, I am talking like mentally crushing, soul-sucking, ego killing hard. Hard like years of therapy is essential after one harsh street blowout. You get up in the morning with all intentions of approaching, but end up walking around for four hours like every other anonymous chump out there who never talks to anyone. NYC is full of them. Walking down the street, passing 5,6’s, 7’s and the occasional 8 or 9, but not saying a word. Only listening to the negative thoughts that permeate your brain and talk you out of it of hard. Hard like everyone is going to judge you, make fun of you, ridicule you when they leave, and at that moment you think it would be easier to just go home and start over tomorrow. Well I have been doing that for the past year, and I am getting pissed off. I know it’s hard, that’s why I should do it. Like from the movie Network, I want open my window and yell to the world, “I am as mad as hell and I am not gonna take it anymore!”

So this blog starts my journey. I have daygamed before, probably over 1000 approaches, but I have gone cold. It is not that I am clueless about street approach, I am just scared and I feel like I am the only guy in NYC doing this right now. Everyone who was going it a few years back seems like they have dropped out, moved away, or gotten married. In the past year of living in this city, I have seen one street approach. We are talking Soho, Union Square, Madison Square park-one guy on a subway platform I saw approach a girl. That is unacceptable in a city of 8 million people.

Valentines Day is in one week. I do not have anything lined up yet, and I am getting pissed off. Girls are out there, waiting for someone to ask them out on that unforgiving red heart themed holiday that falls every year on the same day. I need to start approaching.

I have no idea why I started this blog, maybe to hold myself accountable for my own inaction, meet fellow gamers here in NYC, or maybe just because I am bored. Whatever the reason, this is where it starts.